releasings:

dutchster:

do twins ever realize one of them was unplanned

i’m a boy and my twin is a girl. i asked my parents which gender they wanted, they said they wanted a girl. i’m the unplanned one. fuck.

(Source: cherrybam, via measurable)

bongfucker:

i wonder how i’m gonna die. will i be shot because they’re jealous of my massive penis? car crash because i’m distracted by my massive penis? die of old age, i have a massive penis

(via teenagah)

gelatins:

As a girl, I can confirm that all we talk about is boys and clothes and drugs and murder

(via parincess)

gamsee:

IT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY WHEN PEOPLE REFER TO ME AS THEIR FRIEND WHOA. FRIEND

(via parincess)

"If I had a drink for every fuck I give I’d be one sober mother fucker, but if I had a drink for every fuck I gave about her, I’d be intoxicated forever. I’d drink myself to death."

(via travelurs)

wow i love this

(via diamondlife11)

(Source: justliveyolyfe, via arvace)

hotdaughter:

i have cute underwear 4 nothin

(via teenagah)

ladyofpurple:

officer-peppercorn:

queerfactor:

pablopicasno:

taco cat backwards is still taco cat

i don’t know what to do with this information

dog food lid backwards is dildo of god

i don’t know what to do with this information either

(via clubpenguinslut)

coexisters:

if when I’m older I don’t end up living in an apartment in a big city with a group of my closest friends and we don’t get ourselves into comically awkward situations and spend every day hanging out and making memories together I will be very disappointed because every sitcom ever will have misguided me

(via clubpenguinslut)